“It was weird coming back to school, difficult…” to be a teenager in primary school after the loss of a parent

Abstract

When a child or a teenager loses his or her parents, their whole world changes and a variety of challenges arise that the child or teenager must deal with. There has been relatively little research in Iceland on the impact of parental loss on children and adolescents and how the school approaches it when students face a new reality after the loss, but every year a considerable number of children in primary school lose at least one parent. The role of the school is important in this context and the school and its staff need to be able to respond correctly when students experience the trauma of losing a parent.

The aim of this research was to examine individuals’ experience of elementary school after parental loss. The impact of parental loss on individuals and their schooling was examined by seeking answers to whether and what kind of support the individuals received as they returned to school after the loss. The research was conducted in 2019– 2020 and a qualitative research method was used for data gathering and processing in which individual interviews were conducted with six individuals over the age of 18 who had experienced parental loss during adolescence, i.e., when aged 12–16.

The main findings showed that the individuals’ experience from school was difficult as the impact of the parental loss on their lives was significant. The individuals experienced a great deal of anger and diminished interest in academic learning. They related that the understanding they received of their bereavement and the support they had within the school was limited, at the same time as the educational requirements they had to meet were lowered. Due to that, the individuals felt isolated and lonely, which resulted in them having a harder time coping with their education. From these findings, it can be concluded that support for students who have suffered a parental loss could be better, more organized and personal, and that there is a need for increased understanding of the long and difficult process that follows a parental death. Adolescence is a tough time for many adolescents due to changes in their mental and physical development so the feelings they have, along with the emotions and sadness from the parental loss, create a difficult time for them and can cause various problems, such as depression and risk behaviour. Good collaboration between home and school is extremely important when a student is grieving but purposeful and organized support, follow-up and routine can also prevent all kinds of difficulties that the student might face during this time.

Participants in the study are doing well today despite great difficulties in primary school. However, the grief over the loss of their parents will be with them for the rest of their lives, as they said themselves. The results indicate what could be done better within the schools, but the sample was small, at the same time as everyone has their own way and resilience to deal with trauma and grief, and therefore the results could not be generalized. However, the study makes an important contribution to the school community by providing knowledge and suggestions on how to improve practice when children and adolescents experience the loss of a parent or someone close to them. The study emphasizes the importance of supporting grieving students so that they can process their grief in a healthy way that leads to increased well-being. Overall, various lessons can be learned from the study, one of which is the importance of a trauma policy in each school and how important it is for schools to follow the path laid out in such a policy. Working with grieving families of students and ensuring long-term support for students who have lost a parent should also be emphasized.